Big Hair, Banal Song-writing, Political Infighting And A Singing Turkey - It Must Be Eurovision

The Sunday Age

Sunday May 11, 2008

Jacqueline Maley

IT HAS sparked a culture war in France, ruffled turkey feathers in Ireland, and led to accusations of irresponsibility in Malta. Eurovision 2008, the song contest that for one night will legitimise perm haircuts and truly banal song-writing, promises plenty of scandal and spandex pants when it hijacks the global consciousness on May 24 from the Serbian capital of Belgrade.

This year's controversy began when Ireland chose a turkey as its national representative - as in, an actual turkey, not just a dodgy act.

Dustin the Turkey, a Dublin-born puppet and Irish television personality, will perform Irelande Douze Points, a reference to the maximum 12 points that each country can award another for its entry.

The song's lyrics run: "Give us another chance, we're sorry for Riverdance./Sure, Flatley he's a Yank and the Danube flows through France./Block votes! Shock votes! Give us your 12 today."

But Dustin's entry has led to accusations that the green isle is not taking the contest seriously.

One of Ireland's former Eurovision victors, a popular singer of contemporary Catholic music, says Dustin is making a mockery of the contest.

"If we think it's such a big joke, then let's get out of it," says Dana Rosemary Scallon, who won the contest for Ireland in 1970. "Certainly don't put a turkey in a trolley up against singers who are desperately trying to make a way in their career."

Dustin may be comforted to know that he will not be the only fowl present on the night. The hopes of Bosnia rest on the shoulders of singer-songwriter Elvir Lakovic Laka, who is usually accompanied on stage by a chicken.

His song, Pokusaj, has not been reliably translated into English, but he describes it thus: "What I am trying to say is man did not came from monkey, he came from love. So stop acting like a monkey, globally speaking - stick to love."

But while the Bosnians speak of love, the French are warring over their entry. Sebastien Tellier, a hirsute singer-songwriter, has been attacked because the lyrics to his song, Divine, are in English.

French cabinet minister Alain Joyandet is among those who have condemned him. "France . . . must defend its language, especially against English," he says.

"It must present a candidate who sings in French in a contest like this . . . we can definitely win the Eurovision contest, even against the Anglo-Saxons."

Tellier has capitulated - he will now sing most of his number in French - but the stoush laid bare some of the political fault-lines that run through the competition.

Founded in 1956, Eurovision was supposed to bring post-war Europe together in the spirit of peace and pop. But almost since the contest's inception, there have been accusations of countries voting along political lines.

"British commentator Terry Wogan calls it the 'Vote for your neighbour contest'," says Caroline Westbrook, a British music journalist who runs a Eurovision blog.

"Countries near to each other geographically tend to vote for each other. Greece and Cyprus. Romania and Moldova. Spain and Andorra."

This year, in an attempt to smash geographical favouritism, organisers have split the competition into two semi-finals, separating many of the nations that traditionally exchange votes.

The changing political and economic conditions of the Continent have also had an effect on voting patterns, says Westbrook.

"Former enemies like the Slavic states all give each other points now. Also, countries like Germany, where there are a lot of Turkish immigrants, will give points to Turkey."

Some critics claim that political voting means the contest is biased towards eastern European acts, but Westbrook disagrees.

"Eastern Europe tends to do well because they send acts that are well-known across their region, and they send acts that are actually good."

The country that wins the contest also wins the opportunity to host the following year's Eurovision, a mixed blessing as the contest is very expensive to broadcast.

In 1995, Ireland, having won for three years straight, was suspected of deliberately entering a terrible song (Dreamin' by Eddie Friel) so they wouldn't risk winning again.

Serbia won last year's competition, when Marija Serifovic performed the song Molitva, which means "prayer" in English.

"For many Serbians, the victory was more than just the recognition of a good song, it was also a sign that the country was moving beyond its troubled past," says Serbian singer-songwriter Zeljko Joksimovic.

Serifovic was greeted by an ecstatic crowd of thousands when she returned home triumphant, but her popularity has been on the turn since she endorsed a political candidate who supports the creation of Greater Serbia.

Despite a significant number of joke candidates - including Malta, which has entered an "irresponsible booze song" called Vodka - many countries take the competition seriously.

"Particularly to the new participant countries, it's a big honour for their performers," Westbrook says.

"For them, it's not just a kitschy camp festival."

One of this year's hottest favourites is Dima Bilan, a Russian heart-throb and crooner who recently opened a concert in Brussels with the winning line: "I love Brussels and all cities near Brussels, too."

Bilan has more up his sleeve than just charm - his song for the contest, Believing, was produced by hip-hop guru Timbaland.

Westbrook also rates the chances of Ukrainian pop princess Shady Lady and Swedish crooner Charlotte Perelli.

This year's representative from the UK, Andy Abraham, describes his entry as "soulful" and "anthemic".

"The UK press are a bit sceptical about Eurovision because they see it as political voting between neighbours, but I haven't come across anything like that," he says.

Abraham is not bothered by the less-than-serious reputation Eurovision has in the UK, where it has been called "a battle between the singing and the hair".

"The fact that it's going to be shown to hundreds of thousands of people around the world is a great reason for me to do it."

Spain's representative, Rodolfo, who will sing Dance the Chiki Chiki on May 24, is not in the least cynical about the endeavour.

As he told The Sunday Age: "My participation in the Eurovision Song Contest is a dream come true, and a truth becoming a dream."

A vision sublime - and ridiculous

? ABBA's win for Sweden in 1974 (below), with Waterloo. The hair was big but the voices were bigger.

? The performance of British glamour model Jordan in 2005. Competing to be selected to represent the UK, she sang off-key, while noticeably pregnant and wearing a pink catsuit (far right). Despite losing to pop star Javine, her ego remained undented by the experience.

? This year's Irish entry, a puppet named Dustin the Turkey, is no trailblazer. In 1974, The Wombles (right) provided entertainment during the Eurovision interval.

? In 2003, British entry Jemini was not awarded a single point. BBC commentator Terry Wogan blamed the woeful score on his country's involvement in the Iraq War. Jemini's dressing room was also vandalised and there were technical problems with the speakers during his performance. Some cried sabotage.

? In 1969, France, Spain, the Netherlands and the UK all tied for first place. There was no tie-break system in place, so all four were declared winners. Several other countries, including Sweden and Portugal, were so outraged by the result that they boycotted the 1970 contest.

? In 1978, Jordanian station JRTV abruptly pulled its broadcast of the competition when it became apparent Israel was going to win. Confusingly, neither country is even part of Europe.

Irelande Douze Pointe

by Dustin the Turkey

Oh I come from a nation what knows how to write a song.

Oh, Europe, where oh where did it all go wrong.

C'mon, Irelande douze pointe.

Drag acts and bad acts and Terry Wogan's wig.

Mad acts and sad acts, it was Johnny Logan's gig.

Shake your feathers and bop your beak,

Shake 'em to the west and to the east,

Wave Euro hands and Euro feet,

Wave 'em in the air to the turkey beat.

Irelande douze pointe! Irelande douze pointe!

Irelande douze pointe! To the funky beat

G-o-b gobble b-l-e, yeah.

Hello Abba, hello Bono, hello Helsinki,

Hola Prague, hello sailor, c'est la vie,

Auf wiedersehen, mamma mia and God save the Queen.

G'day Austria, bonjour Serbia, you know what I mean.

Give us another chance, we're sorry for Riverdance.

Sure, Flatley he's a Yank and the Danube flows through France.

Block votes! Shock votes! Give us your 12 today.

You're all invited to Dublin, Ireland,

And we'll party the shamrock way.

Eastern Europe, we love you, do you like Irish stew?

Or goulash, as it is to you, Irelande douze pointe.

Yes, it's Bulgaria, we love you Belarus, Georgia,

Montenegro, Moldova, Albania, Croatia, Poland,

Russia, Ukraine, Macedonia, don't forget Turkey,

Hungary, Estonia, Slovakia, Armenia, Bosnia and Herzegovina,

and don't forget the Swiss . . . Cheese.

© 2008 The Sunday Age

Back to News Index | Back to Home